Saw my cardiologist yesterday after finally getting out of the ER again…..
Cardiomyopathy, which is the weakening and thinning of heart muscles, and explaining my shitty blood pressure and low heart rate. Was told that my anorexia is too severe for me to get medication to help boost my heartbeat. I was told its either eat or die, and I dont have time.
I am too fucking young to die of heart failure. Besides suicide, heart failure is the most common cause of sudden death in anorexics.
It doesn’t seem real and my ed is telling me all doctors are overreacting.
I am going to eat.
I am going to rest.
I am going to live.
I refuse to let this fucking thing win.